June 17, 2016 | 1:21 p.m.

Oh this topic can be so hard to discuss. I think it is hard for me to do something like this. I try to do it in the situations I end up being in. It is easier to not be with family because family can be petty and fight, but there is a better chance things can be resolved. WIth other personal and professional situations it is different. I surely have not taken the mature road everytime, but I usually take the high road. I can think of people who may think otherwise. I can think of a person who thought I did not invite her to my debut when we are not close. I can think of someone who I have wronged. I can imagine how my personality and outlook on life would not mesh well with other people. There are times that I do realize that sometimes you cannot be the bigger person. Sometimes you have to fight for yourself. I am still trying to figure out the right way to do it.

I have so many things I wanted to say in certain confrontations that I thought of after it happened. I can play a scenario in my head of how a situation will go. I see myself as having that moment where I tighten my hands, take the superwoman pose, and I say what I need to say. I then have the perfect comeback, and I storm off with everything on the table. It usually does not go like that. I remain calm. I give in. I guess I be the bigger person. It never ends up being the way that I want it to be. I think in certain situations the person changes the way I act. If it is someone close I get very emotional in the situation. Sometimes, I do not say everything I want to say because I do not want to hurt the person. That does not help anyone. I think recently I have started to do that, but sometimes I am a little too late. I do not think I can say I have many friends, but I have many close friends. I am upset about things my friends for years have done to me. I mean I just saw someone recently who I have not seen in months. We caught up on the past four years of high school we had. Some of the things I really forgot. Things that used to be so important in that moment of my life. It is now not in my head. Am I upset that my friend of years forgot my birthday and did not say Happy BIrthday? I said Happy Birthday to her when it was her birthday, so I am upset about it. My birthday was 2 months ago. There is nothing I can do about it now. I also know that a situation can never be like what I expect it to be.

I look back at my posts, and I realize how much I do not say to people. A lot of things that I never came to terms with it. I guess I just suck it up, and I be the bigger person. I get upset, and I just move on. I just keep on having the relationship. One single reason should not be the reason something like a friendship should end. I then realize it is not just one thing. There have been things little by ittle that have occured, and I just ignore it. Is it worth it to say that I am upset over something that has happened months ago? Do I get upset when I get left alone by my friends during high school? Do I get upset when I cannot relate to my friends anymore? Do I get upset when people mistreat my family, and I have to see those people?  Sometimes I have to stand up, and I need to let people know that I am upset. Some things I just have to let go. In that way I am the bigger person. Superwoman pose and all.

Thank you for reading this. I hope you have a wonderful day. Each day is a new day.


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