Saturday was an interesting day. In the morning I made myself some cereal. I drank more water thank goodness. I was able to get an assignment done but as far as more productivity during the day it did not end up really working out. I went to the Chinese New Year celebration that happened in the U.C., and there was a large amount of free food. I was going to bring a plate to go, so I could eat it Sunday after the challenge. That set me up for failure.
I realized I am an emotional eater. I started getting in my feelings with a fellow friend. I talked to her about my conversation with someone about white supremacy, and it was a very stressful conversation to have. I was in a straightforward mindset, and I think I was able to keep my cool during it. As a people of color, I usually don’t get to have that time to confront someone who could possibly be giving out slurs and who has a certain mindset. I had to really pay attention when I had that conversation, so the aftermath of it was me it took a lot out of me.
I BROKE THE CHALLENGE A SECOND TIME! I decided to eat food that was supposed to be to go. It was an impulse, and I think I did set up myself up for failure when I did get a plate of it. I was trying to convince myself that I wouldn’t eat it until after the challenge on Sunday. I can’t say I have an excuse because those were the rules of the challenge. I do think that the way I cope is more prevalent than ever before. The act of eating was a temporary fix, but it wasn’t a long-lasting fix.
This also brings up a point of society telling people to get better by having a meal or treating yourself, but for people who can’t afford one meal is only a temporary fix. It’s not going to solve the glaring problem of food insecurity. I definitely use food as a luxury. My friends and I ended up going to the step show, and it was one of the best events ever here on campus. I had to use up a lot of energy by screaming, cheering, dancing that by the time it ended I was tired and hungry. My friend said we should go to Bonchon, and I couldn’t be the party pooper. Luckily the restaurant was about to close, so they just got to go. I did not order anything. It was about 11:00 p.m. when I got back to my room. I ate about three bowls of cereal because I was so hungry. Again I don’t plan accordingly. It did affect the way I enjoyed the show, and it also affected the way I socialized with my friends. I got really quiet by the end of the social event, and it again reiterated how my college experience is different from the people who have food insecurity.